You’ve seen their 1st-anniversary gifts, what they had for dinner, the reasons they love each other, their disgustingly cute pet names, and the cliche phrases like “I love you to the moon and back” that frame their relationship. We all know those relationships of couples who post every detail of their relationships- good and bad. As a private old soul, oversharing doesn’t align with my being. When scrolling through seemingly dramatic relationship posts, I tend to either roll my eyes or ponder whether or not this couple truly loves each other as much as they proclaim.
Am I just being a hater…
I fully acknowledgment the seemingly trivial aspect of this topic. I suppose it’s none of my business and not affecting my life so why am I hating? Perhaps my recent singledom has jaded my perception of this matter seeing as I’ve been a cheesy post offender in the past. However, I do wonder if there’s a trend with oversharing couples. I’ve read countless articles and watched tons of videos discussing this phenomenon. The other day, I watched at least ten videos aiming to prove that those who overpost about their relationships are not only annoying but not as happy as they want the digital world to think. A recent study by Allbright College enlightened my limited view of this topic.
There are two kinds of people in this world…
There’s two groups of people- extroverts and individuals high on RCSE (relationship-contingent self-esteem). Extroverts have no issues sharing everything on social media. Those high in RCSE, base their happiness on the success and current state of their relationship. It’s a form of conditional happiness- when my relationship is going well, I’m happy. Since their self-esteem is tied closely to their relationship, when things are going well, they are more inclined to share that with the world. The additional validation they receive through likes and comments fuel their self-esteem just a tad bit more. So over-posting technically is both a sign of happiness as well as a mean to increase happiness. I’m happy in my relationship at the moment → Therefore I want to share my happiness with the world → And the support from others validates and perpetuates my current state of happiness.
I have seen the light! I used to think that those who overshared were overcompensating for something and fabricating their degree of happiness. But based on this research, they aren’t fabricating as much as they are practicing their right to selective sharing, a form of omission I guess you could say. They won’t post when things are bad because it’s too closely tied to the pain induced on their self-esteem. But when things are great they’ll shout it from the mountaintops.
So for all the haters out there, those saps are in a happy relationship- at least currently. To all those, I’ve secretly scoffed, mocked, or questioned- I apologize. Perhaps due to my inherently private nature, I was unable to open my eyes to the truth. The next time I begin to roll my eyes over an excessive proclamation of love, I’ll put aside my negativity and remind myself that you are happy- for that moment anyways!