How to Approach Anyone & Be Likeable

August 22, 2016 • Melissa

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What would happen if we made a conscious effort to meet someone new every day? Can you imagine the conversations, the stories, the potential connections we would build?!

The Approach:

I recently read about The 3 Second Rule that says if you spot someone you are interested in talking to you should walk up to them and immediately start up a conversation (within that 3 second window). This eliminates all of the unnecessary anticipation and anxiety that sometimes comes when you are thinking about what to say, how to act, and the worrying. Better yet? You are forced to approach as your most genuine self, no overthinking or over analyzing required. I, personally love striking new conversations with people I wouldn’t have expected to talk to. And ladies, I’ll have you know that according to the fellas, there is nothing sexier than a confident woman who isn’t afraid of being the first to initiate conversation. Confidence is key!

Approaching Tips:  Being confident means having an open posture, keeping your head up and not slumping forward, but also:


  • Don’t cross your arms
  • Smile: Be playful, have fun!
  • Make eye contact

The Engagement:

Approach ability and approaching are not just about picking up that hot guy or girl, although it is a perk. Outstanding social skills can also help tremendously professionally. One of my mentors in fact, an extremely intelligent Harvard board member who always has a way with words once recommended I read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. In this book the very first principle is to “Become genuinely interested in other people”. This was the very first principle he used when we developed a mentor/mentee relationship, and it was a key one that allowed us to foster a strong bond.

This is the same principle we unconsciously use when meeting new people. We look for people who are genuinely interested in who we are and tend to shy away from those that don’t. And, catch the key words in this principle, we must be “genuinely interested” if we are standing there in silence because we are looking at our phones or scoping out the next person to talk to, how can we really expect the other person to care as well? We really can’t.

Engaging Tips:

  • Aim for talking almost half the time vs. actively listening
  • Grab lunch or happy hour drinks with co-workers every once in a while
  • Be Open: It is easier to be real with someone else that isn’t afraid to open themselves up

Any other thought’s on approach ability and meeting new people? Let me know what works or doesn’t work for you in the comments below!


Melissa Rodriguez

Hi everyone! I’m Melissa. When I’m not lost in thought about what to create, where to adventure out to, or...
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  • Hemi

    Always pay someone a compliment when you first meet them. Everyone likes a nice little ego boost. Whether its a fella who’s rockin’ some nice kicks or a lady who’s hair looks great, just pick out something genuine about said person and let that lead the way. Who doesn’t want to be told that they’re kinda awesome.

    • I love this! I think a thoughtful and genuine compliment certainly goes a long way!

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