Mind

Three Ways You Can Avoid Becoming a Toxic Person

September 7, 2016 • Vilma

over 3 mins

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I’m loving this month’s life goal; good vibes only. But, it’s not always easy…in fact it can sometimes be a serious challenge. I’ve had several moments when I’ve surrendered myself to negative people- succumbing to bad vibes, opening myself to up to becoming a toxic person. It’s an all too common cycle; negativity from others can infiltrate your life causing you in turn to be one yourself. Lucky for us I’ve learned firsthand there is a way to stop this in its track:

Stop spreading bad vibes wildfire

Ever notice how easy it is to bad talk that last person you had a problem with? It’s normal to complain to a third party about your annoyance. We pass on our negativity to someone else without even the prospect of solving the problem in the first place. What if we were more courageous and when problems arose we acknowledged them with the relevant parties- rather than spreading gossip.  And, hey, if a resolution can’t be found, then so be it, at least we tried.

Problems will come and go, but what’s the point of passing your bad vibes to everyone you meet? There’s nothing more annoying than that person who constantly complains about every issue they have, depleting you of all of your positive energy. Let us be conscious of the vibes around us and remember there’s nothing wrong with distancing ourselves from Negative Nancy and doing whatever it takes to not become one ourselves. Let’s make calm and positive the new cool and whenever we should bump into toxic people; let’s not let their frustrations interfere with our positive vibes. Keep in mind they are just people stuck in their negativity. Their bad vibes is not our bad vibes.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Handling my frustrations is something I can speak to with much more wisdom in my late 20’s. In my early 20’s, I’ll admit it I felt like I was entitled to get everything I wanted. Simply because I deserved it. When I graduated from college, I thought that having a degree guaranteed my dream job. And I wasn’t willing to wait either. When the weeks wore on and my frustration grew greater, it even got to the point of resentment. I even reached a point where I would advise others to not pursue my major because of the lack of opportunity I’d experience in that field… well lack of opportunity for me anyways.

Realizing that complaining and spreading negativity to others wouldn’t help me, I finally learned to turn my frustration into determination to work harder and smarter to find my dream job. I became more aggressive in the job search instead of allowing myself to get knocked down by the circumstance.

“Struggles are required in order to survive in life, because in order to stand up, you gotta know what falling down is like”

This experience taught me how to make lemonade with lemons- and the greatest lesson of all- we have the power to let struggle define us or fuel us.

Choose happiness over being right

I have to admit I’m also guilty of this; I hate being wrong.  I don’t take constructive criticism easily because it’s hard to admit that I’m not perfect. I’m the first to come up with a ton of excuses to justify my actions.

It took me a couple years to realize that life hasn’t stopped being a never ending lesson plan with a new course to learn in the class of life every day. One of the most valuable life lessons being- humility. It’s been my practice in humility where I’ve found strength to receive constructive criticism. Looking past my egos desire to be right for my heart’s desire to do what’s best and necessary for me.  Next time you’re about to get in a fight with your loved one or family member ask yourself is it more important to be right or to be happy?

Let’s learn from the good, bad, and the ugly because this beautiful world has much to offer. Share with me your tips on how you’ve kept on course and have said no bad vibes here!

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Vilma Sierra

I studied Communications at Rider University in New Jersey and currently live & work in the Downtown New York/New Jersey...
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