There’s this well-known saying that people come to your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Every one of them unknowingly or knowingly equipped with something to teach you. If for a reason, it may be to provide you the guidance and support physically, emotionally, or spiritually you need at that very moment.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Sometimes the people that come into your life for a reason will come in and out like a flash. They are our classroom teachers and the strangers we talk for countless hours with about our different beliefs. Then there is figuring out which ones are in for a season and the lucky ones in for the ride of a lifetime.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
It’s the season versus lifetime people that can get tricky. It goes back to that innate desire to feel connected and create attachment. It’s that sense of “attachment” that also holds us back from enjoying the relationship for what is/was and from creating the space to encounter new people with new reasons, new seasons, and maybe even new lifetime purposes from entering our lives.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Think about it this way, if we only have 24 hours in one day and a half of that is spent working and/or sleeping, we essentially only have eight hours of a day left to do what we choose, how we choose. If what we choose is to spend four hours catching up on Netflix and the other four hours socializing, we are subconsciously making the decision to cut out the possibility of going for a hike, taking a road trip, or reading a book. When it comes to time, we have to make a deliberate choice as to what takes priority and what is important to us for what we want to achieve.
As is with time, so it is with people. We can only fit so many people in one day, in one week, in one month. It’s in these decision points, these conversations, and these interactions that we have to also choose. Now instead of the “what” the choice becomes a question of “who”. Who takes priority and who is important to us for what we want to achieve. It’s in these choices where we need to evaluate- are we are still nurturing the potential growth in our present relationships or are we are stuck living in the past, holding onto relationships that are no longer serving us?
Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself about the answers:
- Are there relationships you are holding onto solely because of a sense of indebtedness?
- Are there relationships you are holding onto solely because of obligation?
- Are there relationships you are holding onto solely because of time spent?
The relationships that grow us are based on real purpose, meaning, and growth. If all that holds it together is a debt of favors, contracts, or time invested the meaning is mute.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
As with current relationships figure this out for past relationships as well. Use this exercise to help release any focus from the pain of “losing” someone for x reason to embracing the beauty of the purpose that person had in your life.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Assess the relationships you know are no longer serving you and identify the ones that are. When you meet and foster these lifetime relationships- in your heart of hearts you’ll know it. It doesn’t mean they are going to be any easier, but it will without a doubt make the lessons in them that much more meaningful.
[The full version of the poem I’ve broken out above, can be found here].